Every child deserves to grow up feeling safe, valued and protected. But for children who experience abuse or neglect, the effects can reach far beyond childhood. For many survivors, the impact can continue into adulthood, affecting confidence, relationships, emotional wellbeing and their ability to feel safe and connected to others.
The World Child Abuse & Neglect Awareness Day on 15 August provides an opportunity to raise awareness of child abuse and neglect, and for us to collectively think about how we can better protect children, and remember that supporting someone who has experienced abuse does not end when childhood does.
At S.H.E. UK, we support adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and more recent sexual violence. Every day, we see the courage it can take to seek help – sometimes many years after the abuse happened – and the difference that specialist, trauma-informed support can make.
Because while we cannot change what happened to someone in childhood, we can help survivors build a different future.
Childhood abuse can have a lasting impact
Childhood sexual abuse can affect people in many different ways, and there is no single response to trauma.
Some survivors may experience anxiety, shame, low self-esteem, difficulties with relationships or challenges around trust and connection. Others may not fully recognise the impact of their experiences until many years later.
Some may have spent years believing that what happened was somehow their fault. Others may have tried to put their experiences behind them, only to find that certain situations, relationships or feelings bring difficult memories or emotions to the surface.
There is also no single timescale for seeking support.
A survivor might reach out weeks, years or decades after experiencing abuse. The average age of our clients is 43 years old.
There is no expiry date on needing support, and there is no requirement for someone to have reached a particular point in their life before they are “allowed” to ask for help.
Moving beyond survival
For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, healing isn’t necessarily about forgetting what happened, it can be about understanding it and learning to live with it.
It can be about understanding trauma and recognising how past experiences may have influenced the way you see yourself, your relationships and the world around you. It can be about finding your voice, developing confidence, establishing boundaries or learning that feelings of shame and blame do not belong to you.
At S.H.E. UK, our specialist counselling, peer support, education and Lounges are designed to help survivors explore these experiences in a safe and supportive environment.
One survivor described the difference this has made to them:
“My emotional health has improved, being able to talk without shame or fear of ridicule, along with having an in-depth knowledge into trauma has helped me gain more confidence. The amount of epiphanies I’ve experienced during my time at the Lounges has been phenomenal.”
The words “without shame or fear of ridicule” are particularly powerful.
For someone who has spent years feeling unable to speak openly about their experiences, having a place where they can talk, be listened to and be understood can be an important step forward. And sometimes, understanding what has happened to you can be transformative.
Those moments of realisation – the “epiphanies” described by this survivor – can help people make sense of feelings, behaviours and experiences that may previously have seemed confusing or overwhelming.
Finding friendship, connection and hope
Healing doesn’t have to be a solitary journey.
For many survivors, connecting with other people who understand can be an important part of rebuilding trust and finding a sense of belonging.
S.H.E. UK’s Lounges offer survivors a safe space where they can spend time together, build friendships and experience the kind of human connection that trauma may have made difficult in the past.
One survivor described the Lounges as:
“A safe space full of friendship and laughter and attending also gives me hope. It has helped me realise that human connection can be beautiful and it is possible to have a brighter and more joyful future.”
Friendship. Laughter. Hope.
These might sound like simple things, but for someone who has experienced childhood sexual abuse, being able to feel safe enough to experience them can be hugely significant.
The quote also captures something that can be easy to overlook when we talk about trauma: survivor support isn’t only about dealing with difficult experiences, it’s also about creating opportunities for positive experiences.
It is about rediscovering connection and it is about finding joy again. We want everyone on a healing journey with us at S.H.E. UK to begin to imagine a future that feels brighter than the past, and then continue to build on that.
The power of peer support
Every survivor’s journey is different. There is no one route through recovery, and what helps one person may not be right for another. Having people around you who understand can make a profound difference.
One S.H.E. UK survivor described their experience this way:
“S.H.E. has been a breath of fresh air, [I have] loved watching how fellow survivors have grown too. That we not only have our solo journeys of growth but also our ‘peer’ group – there’s such respect for each other.”
There is something important in the distinction between an individual journey and a shared journey.
Survivors have their own experiences to process and their own goals for the future. But they don’t necessarily have to do that alone.
Peer support can provide a sense of belonging and mutual understanding. It can mean seeing someone else make progress and recognising that change is possible. It can mean being able to celebrate another survivor’s achievements while knowing that your own journey is being respected too. Sometimes, simply knowing that other people understand can make the world feel a little less lonely.
What does “moving on” really mean?
We often talk about survivors “moving on” from childhood sexual abuse, but perhaps we need to think carefully about what that phrase means.
Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, and neither does it mean that what happened no longer matters. And it doesn’t mean either that someone has had to reach a point where they never feel affected by their past.
Instead, moving forward can mean having greater understanding, confidence and choice.
- It can mean being able to recognise your own needs.
- It can mean developing healthier relationships.
- It can mean feeling more comfortable setting boundaries.
- It can mean finding people you trust.
- It can mean laughing with friends.
- It can mean discovering things about yourself that you didn’t know before.
- Sometimes, it can simply mean waking up one morning and realising that your life contains more hope than it once did.
Why awareness matters
World Child Abuse & Neglect Awareness Day gives us a reason to talk about something that can be incredibly difficult to talk about.
Awareness matters because prevention matters.
Children deserve to be protected from abuse and neglect. They deserve adults who will listen to them, take concerns seriously and act when something isn’t right. But awareness also matters because today’s survivors are the adults who experienced something that should never have happened to them as children.
They deserve to be heard too. They deserve to be believed and they deserve access to appropriate specialist support. Survivors deserve the opportunity to build a future that isn’t defined solely by their past.
S.H.E. UK: Supporting survivors to heal and move forward
At S.H.E. UK, we believe that surviving childhood sexual abuse is not the end of someone’s story. Our work is about supporting survivors as they navigate their own journeys – providing specialist counselling, peer support, education and safe spaces where people can connect with others who understand.
We see the importance of that work in the small moments as well as the big ones.
- In the confidence to speak and in the ability to understand trauma.
- In friendships that develop and in laughter returning.
- In survivors supporting one another, and in those moments when someone begins to believe that perhaps their future can be different.
As one survivor told us:
“It is possible to have a brighter and more joyful future.”
That is the message we want to share this World Child Abuse & Neglect Awareness Day.
We cannot change what happened to survivors in childhood, but with the right support, compassion and understanding, we can help people discover that their past does not have to determine their future.
Survivors deserve the opportunity to heal, to connect, to grow and to live with hope.
And at S.H.E. UK, we will continue to be here to support them on that journey.
Support Us
💙 To support our work and help us provide life-changing support to survivors, consider donating today: https://localgiving.org/charity/she-uk
